November 8, 2011

I think about how much of a tragedy my life seems to be right now and I laugh. I can imagine years from now looking back on my life and wondering why I stunted my growth at such a young age. I’ll wonder why, for so long, all I wanted to be was in love. I’ll wonder why, with all my potential, I kept searching to fulfill someone else at any cost.

It’s human nature, I suppose; to feel lonely and to want someone else to fill that void. It’s human nature to want to be someone’s everything and support all of their dreams as long as those dreams include you at their side. I’m sure it’s a combination of human nature, media, and societal influence.

We’re so needy, and none of us want to be our own savior. We don’t think we’re strong enough to be our own savior, our own life support. This is one of the reasons I don’t believe in most religions and a “God”. I believe that god is within the self. You can be your own strength, your own drive, and your own shoulder to lean on. People tend to forget how strong they actually are internally.

With one life, all I want to do is be my best me and to do all of the things I’ve ever dreamt of. I can be alone because I’ll never really be alone. I’ve got family and friends, and all of the people in the world I have yet to meet. I have big dreams and they are all reachable by some means. It just takes work. Life is a work in progress at all times. I don’t want to be at a halt.

Why be unhappy or force yourself into believing you’re “unhappy” because you’re alone or you’re going through something? As cliche as it is, we were born alone (unless you’re a twin or more, haha) and we will die alone. I mean that in the most optimistic way. You were born alone because you are meant to live one life, yours. We are all strong enough to survive “alone”. No one is fully alone, there are millions of people on this planet who are all strangers waiting to be met.

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up but a comedy in long-shot” Charlie Chaplin

In the future, this moment that I’m in and every challenging moment before and after this will be pure comedy. While you’re crying, don’t forget to take a moment and laugh at life. Life is mystical because it can be hideous, beautiful, and completely mind-blowing all at once.