March 5, 2012

That feeling, that wonderful and terrible feeling of being tightly wound in your arms and pushing your hair back knowing that I may be the one to hurt you because I’m too shallow. I’m a puddle trying to be an ocean for you. It will take me a long time to accumulate enough depth to be able to accept you for everything you are and everything you are not. I grew up an asshole in a asshole place and no you aren’t perfect enough to fit into the mold I’m trying to place you in so others will accept you, too. I still care about what other people think and I’m an asshole for that. I’m not perfect enough to take you for the good and the bad. I’ll give up like I always do. The only thing I wonder is why I don’t just give up on you now before I hurt you. Yes, I’m that selfish. Yes, I’m that shallow. I keep holding you here without enough depth to submerge you in me. I keep pretending I’m an ocean for you, but I know soon enough you’ll stand up and realize the feet I promised you were only inches. I keep trying, but I don’t know if I can give you more that even though I feel for you so deeply.