Excerpt: Sonny's Blues By James Baldwin

I was beginning to realize that I’d never seen him so upset before. With another part of my mind I was thinking that this would probably turn out to be one of those things kids go through and that I shouldn’t make it seem important by pushing it too hard. Still, I didn’t think it would do any harm to ask: “Doesn’t all this take a lot of time? Can you make a living at it?

He turned back to me and half leaned, half sat, on the kitchen table. “Everything takes time,” he said, “and— well, yes sure, I can make a living at it. But what I don’t seem to be able to make you understand is that it’s the only thing I want to do—”

“Well, Sonny,” I said gently, “you know people can’t always do exactly what they want to do—”

“No, I don’t know that,” said Sonny, surprising me. “I think people ought to do what they want to do, what else are they alive for?”


First off, this story is marvelous and it made me cry more than once. A sweet fact about me is that I absolutely love reading. I almost love reading more than writing. It takes me to places I've never been, and to a place overall that is away from the world and into my own. Back to the story, I wanted to put the whole thing on my blog, but I've read up to this part and I really feel like this is perfect. It's exactly how I feel about writing. Sonny's whole disposition on being a musician is exactly how I feel about being a writer. I really, really loved this.

Does the sunset sometimes look like the sun's coming up?

Do you know what a faithful love is like?

You're crying. You say you've burned yourself.
But can you think of anyone who's not
Hazy with smoke?
-Rumi

So, I've been a little Rumi obsessed as shown on my writing blog. I'm trying to transfer over to this blog for pretty obvious reasons. It has a lot more structure and I suppose it represents a more serious type of blogging. The most important thing is that I miss blogging here as opposed to my Tumblr where I follow so many people and get distracted by my dashboard rather than actually blogging. I might merge my writing blog into this blog and have only one blog... just a thought.

I will have a baby face forever.

(I cheated by taking this picture and blurb from my tumblr) I planned for today to be a productive day, but here I am hiding under the blankets finally-sort-of over being pissed. I got up early today and made my bed, and also cleaned the top of the table near the bed. I then pushed myself to go to yoga— which was amazing. It has been an uphill battle since then, I feel like the universe is against me. I haven’t been able to take a shower because my building was supposed to have the water off until 1 (one of the reasons why I pushed myself into yoga today) and it’s still not on. Yes, my dirty ass is bundled up in my bed. Everything else kind of fell apart along with that so to stop being angry I took a nap thinking it might be on when I woke up and no, it was not. So, now I’m up looking at Va$htie’s blog and lusting over the Santigold x Vans collaboration that came in February. However, I’m not allowed to buy anything for a while. I kind of lost control of my spending habits over the past two to three months so I’m staying away from all things wonderful and learning to love what I have— I have too damn much already!

On to the natural hair pictures to celebrate it.




And done! Sorry for the bad quality imac pictures. I take a lot because it's much harder to carry my Nikon everywhere so I'll probably be sharing a lot more of these.
Side note: I just noticed that I have my left hand up in almost all the pictures I posted. Weird. AND, The water finally worked. I got a shower so I felt a lot better. It changed my day completely!

xx~

Overall (hair) update.

I've officially kept my hair in it's naturally state for 3 weeks tomorrow. It's made me realize a few things: people tend to act like they've never seen hair if it's not straight or if it's bigger than usual, I feel like changing my hair made me learn to love and appreciate my face more, and I also really need to dye my hair!


The texture of it has changed a lot and I enjoy seeing the process, but it lacks consistency so every day I have a new kind of look. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but I'm dealing with it and it's growing on me slowly.

xx~

Life is a Water Park, Could Be Fun...

So, I've been really busy especially last month for the start of the semester. I wasn't prepared for all the work that was going to come from it, which explains my absence from my blog. I also haven't been able to take Nikki (my camera) anywhere because I've been carrying my heavy textbooks amongst other things. I have returned with a new hairstyle though. My hair started to feel very thin in comparison with how it used to be so I decided to take a break from heat damage. This was, honestly, one of the hardest things I've had to do in a while. I had become so used to washing and blow drying my hair every three to four days that felt unattractive with my natural curly hair. That isn't the case anymore, and every day I feel a little more confident with my hair (this could also be because every day it gets more healthy). The pictures below are from Saturday after work when I unexpectedly ended up hanging out with my friends Mya and Sean. Sean had his camera so it was a good day.


I couldn't control my hair at first so I didn't want to take pictures.

Above was when Mya told me I remind her of a blogger with my curly hair, which turned out to be my favorite blogger and Model: Christina Caradona of Trop Rouge.







Above was a random picture taken of me that came out pretty awesome.



Interesting and fun day!